As long as I can remember, I have believed that if I want something then I am responsible for earning it. It wasn’t always that way, I can only remember back so far, but I was fortunate to have two loving parents committed to teaching me, each in their own way, the fundamentals of life.
I go back to one specific memory from my childhood that I’d kind of forgotten during my 20’s. It was something my dad used to do when it was just him, as a single dad, and me living together.
If I wanted toys, I had to earn them. My dad implemented this basic earning system with tickets instead of money when I was four or five years-old. He bought a whole collection of toys ranging from small, cheap little cars to huge, awesome action figures and put them all in an open bin in the corner of our breakfast area.
I could look at the toys any time, but I was not allowed to remove any of the toys from the bin, open them, or play with them until I earned one. There was a twist though. My dad was no dummy.
He put a ticket requirement on every toy. The small, cheap toys only cost a few tickets. Better toys cost more. The best toys, the ones I wanted most, cost a lot of tickets.
I could earn tickets by contributing around the house, doing well in school, or displaying good behavior when we went out. Things like listening, being patient, being kind, trying new foods, holding doors for people. That kind of stuff.
Sadly, I learned I could also lose tickets. If I didn’t get up on time, didn’t listen, didn’t do my homework, didn’t act in respectful ways, I was docked tickets. The number of tickets I was docked depended on the severity of the transgression.
The twist, beyond the simple lesson of earning what I wanted, was that I could quickly earn enough tickets to secure a small, cheap toy or I could hold out, put in more work over time, stockpile my tickets, and earn the biggest, coolest toy in that bin. If I spent my tickets on the smaller toys, I’d struggle to have enough tickets to get the bigger toys.
My dad put me in a position to choose, at five years-old, between what I wanted in the moment and what I wanted most. He put me in a position to directly experience how my actions were attached to consequences that gained or lost in value for things that matter to me.
My dad showed me how earning can be relative. More than a few times I earned enough tickets to secure the biggest toys, but because I had already spent most of those tickets on smaller toys along the way, I rarely had enough tickets to secure what I really wanted.
I learned through his guidance and my experience. I learned it was all my choice. Earning or losing value is my choice and my responsibility. Playing for short-term satisfaction or delaying gratification in pursuit of a bigger mission is my choice and my responsibility.
Now, 35 years later, I see the simple wisdom of those tickets, that toy bin, and my dad. My life is a reflection of his effort.
Answer the call. Do the work.
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