Why do we Blame, Complain, and get Defensive (BCD)?
It’s not like we consciously design our identities to BCD. At least most people don’t (besides the strategically manipulative). We don’t plan to blame, complain, and get defensive. We just… do.
We don’t choose a BCD mindset on-purpose. We allow it by default.
BCD happens when we’re running on autopilot, without self-awareness, self-discipline, and self-confidence. Human nature takes over and forms a mental defense mechanism to protect your ego and identity.
It tells you that good outcomes are because of you and bad outcomes are not because of you. Those outcomes are because of something else, something wrong.
Your response was fine, it says. It was the event that was the problem. The outcome would have been just fine if those other factors weren’t so problematic, unfair, or unreasonable.
But self-awareness anchors us to the truth that we play a role in every result. We affect every outcome, in seen and unseen ways.
Self-discipline urges us to remember that we have the power to think, choose, and act independently of our past or our surroundings.
Self-confidence reminds us that our character is not determined by our circumstances or our results, but by our choices and our actions.
We may have been born with default impulses to BCD, but we don’t need to obey them. We don’t need to give into them.
Think about it: who wants to be around someone who is always blaming, complaining, and getting defensive? And what has BCD ever truly earned for you?
Detach from default. Break the pattern. Get off autopilot. And stay off.
Bury BCD. It may have had a role in your past, but it has no role in your future.
Event + Response = Outcome. Do the work.
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