A typical pattern emerges whenever I teach "No BCD" (No Blaming, Complaining, or Defensiveness). Whether I'm the keynote at a big conference, workshopping directly with a team, writing one of these Daily Disciplines, or personally advising a leader doesn't matter. A similar response emerges.
"Ok, but what am I supposed to do instead of BCD?"
The question itself suggests we must replace BCD with something specific. They believe that unless I provide them with more productive replacement strategies, they have no alternative but to BCD.
We discover how flawed this reasoning is when we apply the same standard to other topics.
- The law says don't hurt, kill, or discriminate against people. But what are we supposed to do instead?!
- Handling poisonous snakes, skydiving, and riding motorcycles carry high degrees of unnecessary risk. But what are we supposed to do instead?!
- Lying, cheating, and stealing will get you fired at work or home. But what are we supposed to do instead?!
See the point?
It doesn't matter what you do instead of harming people. Do anything you want. Just don't harm people. You don't need to craft a plan for how to not skydive or punch someone at some point today.
Yet that's exactly what people ask me to do with BCD. They want plans, strategies, and techniques for not BCD'ing, and if they don't get them or don't like them, they feel justified to continue in their BCD.
You don't have to replace BCD with anything. Just do anything else or do nothing at all. That's better than BCD.
Picture something too risky, unnecessary, or negatively impactful for you. I'm an adrenaline junkie, so skydiving and snakes are bad examples for me (I love them), but they may be good examples for you. Watching the news is a perfect example for me.
It's a complete answer for me to say, "I don't watch the news." I don't need to justify it or account for what I do instead. I don't watch the news. I do anything else with my time instead of that because it holds negative value for me. BCD is the same.
Don't blame. Don't complain. Don't get defensive.
That's a complete answer too.
The time is now. Do the work.
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