You can’t control how you’re perceived when you discuss an uncomfortable topic. You aren’t in charge of the other person’s emotions. You in charge of the message you send. You control how you send it.
During difficult conversations, it’s common for people to place their primary concern on how they’re coming across rather than on whether they’re clear and honest. They soften, change, or hide their true feelings and real message in an attempt to avoid making themselves and the other person uncomfortable.
In a difficult conversation your priority is not how you come across. It’s communicating with honesty and clarity.
Don’t sacrifice the quality of your message in order to protect your image or someone else’s emotions. Keep the message you want understood in the center of your focus. Get it across efficiently and work hard to make sure it’s understood, even if they don’t agree with it. It will not be perfect. It may not be pretty. But it’s your top priority.
Embrace the chase. Do the work.
PS - Once you deliver your intended message listen, understand, and address the perceptions, feelings, and impact later in the conversation or in future conversations.
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