There's an uncomfortable truth about BCD (blaming, complaining, defensiveness) that people are afraid to say out loud for fear of how it would make them look. They know it. They feel it. But they don't dare say it.
The uncomfortable truth is that people want to BCD. They want to BCD because it's the easiest, most natural way to avoid responsibility.
BCD helps them feel powerful. It helps them feel righteous, justified, and victimized. If they stop BCD'ing, they're not a victim anymore. They'd have to take responsibility somehow.
Eliminating BCD isn't an issue for anyone who doesn't want to BCD.
BCD is only difficult to eliminate in those who want to do it. That's the not-so-secret secret hiding in plain sight. People BCD when they don't want to be responsible for something. BCD is the emotional reaction to avoid responsibility.
Once you recognize that, you'll perceive and process situations and relationship dynamics much differently, as much with your BCD as with other people's.
The uncomfortable truth is that people's desire to avoid responsibility keeps them BCD'ing, not a lack of productive alternatives. They already know the alternative and don't like how it feels.
People don't stop BCD'ing, not because they can't, but because they don't want to. They want someone else to take responsibility.
The time is now. Do the work.
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