When people try to solve problems, achieve goals, or drive change, the strategies they are attracted to typically involve adopting new actions. “If you want that, then you need to do this, this, and this.” Something along those lines.
There seems to be a default interest — infatuation — with discovering new actions that will lead to the things you want. There is truth and value in this approach, obviously, however I don’t believe it’s the best place to start.
Why?
I believe the best place to start is to understand and address your existing behaviors that aren’t working. The ineffective behavior patterns that, for whatever reasons, you keep doing again and again. The areas where results are not good and can be traced directly back to your choices, actions, or involvement.
Your primary responsibility is an honest, unfiltered assessment of what you’re doing that is definitively not creating good results, and many times creating additional problems, and to immediately stop doing those things. The truth is you may or may not need much new additional action. You might just need to stop doing the things that are causing the problems or holding you back.
I actually think it’s easier to identify and remove behaviors in me that prevent what I want than it is to identify and implement behaviors in me that create what I want. I’m going to do both, but I start with the easier task and make sure I’m not engaging in behavior patterns that get in the way of what I want. That way I give myself plenty of room with the flexibility to try creative things as I figure out what to do and how to do it.
It’s actually scary how often success is the result of addition by subtraction. People get so busy searching for success strategies, they overlook the most obvious answer: stop doing the things that are creating problematic issues.
You have behavior patterns you’ve grown attached to that aren’t working for you. You can think of a few right now. They may be causing problematic issues for other people as well.
It’s time you addressed these behaviors. It’s time to self-acknowledge that you’re choosing to stay in some patterns that are headed to places you don’t want to go.
I’ll be direct with you because you know my intent, my heart, and my purpose here:
Stop engaging in behavior patterns that clearly don’t work for your health, your relationships, your growth, your mental health, your work, your happiness, or anywhere else that’s important to you. Turn addition by subtraction in your favor.
Answer the call. Do the work.
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