Here’s the principle that changed everything for me. Well, the first half.
Every outcome in my life has two contributing factors:
- The event
- My response
That’s it. That’s all there is.
My response is everything I think, feel, decide, say, and do. And all the things I don’t.
The event is everything that is not me: the laws of nature and of human nature, specific external circumstances and surrounding context, and other people’s responses. If it’s not me, it’s part of the event.
No matter where I am, what situation I’m in, or what I’m pursuing, outcomes are a product of how I interact with and respond within the given set of events.
The challenge is that events introduce a wide set of uncontrollable factors.
Events are planned and unplanned, fair and unfair. They create friction and acceleration. They limit options and expand them.
But events can’t choose my response for me. Only I can choose that. I can’t control events. But events can’t control me, either.
Since events can never control my response, I can always choose how to respond. I can choose the best response to the worst event or I can choose the worst response to the best event.
My thoughts, my choices, and my actions are up to me, not my circumstances.
That was the first half of my realization. But it was the easier half.
The second half was harder to see. Even harder to accept. But once I did, my life changed forever.
Event + Response = Outcome. Do the work.
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