Another reason we resist giving empathy is because we rarely receive it. We sometimes withhold it for an intentional reason, such as spite, revenge, or anger. I take no pleasure in highlighting that, but we do.
More often, though, we withhold empathy unintentionally. The weakness of our empathy muscles as a society is a glaring blind spot.
We mirror what we see modeled, and empathy is rarely modeled, let alone modeled well. We get stuck in embedded patterns of interaction that we allow to run unchecked on autopilot.
The interaction patterns we experience most are low on listening, empathy, and understanding. Instead, they are high on expression, assumptions, and opinions.
How often do you see a strong, influential person model commanding authority? How often do you see them model rigorous empathy? We rarely see how to use empathy in defining moments with key relationships, especially from strong models.
Our common experience with empathy creates a doom loop.
Empathy muscles as a society are weak, so we rarely experience quality empathy. We learn from models and patterns how to assume and express, not how to empathize. We do what we learn and experience most. Empathy muscles as a society grow even weaker.
People who do not receive love struggle to give love. People who do not have discipline modeled for them struggle to show discipline. People who do not receive empathy struggle to give empathy.
We are not done with this topic. Not even close.
Open tomorrow’s email because I will break down an alarming observation. It involves a specific experience there is a 90% chance you’ve NEVER had.
Brick by brick. Do the work.
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