Are We Owed Unconditional Love?

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Brian Kight

I ask a question at the end of my keynotes, "Where do you tend to pay more attention to the discipline of your behavior skills: at work or at home?"

The overwhelming answer I hear from people is that they tend to pay more attention to their behavior skills at work than at home. I ask why. The reasons include:

  • I can get fired at work. At home, I can't get fired. (not true)
  • I get performance reviews at work. I don't get them at home. (again, not true, although you may not know it)
  • It's more emotional at home. (true most of the time)
  • I don't get paid for it at home. I get paid to do it at work. 
  • I'm exhausted at the end of my work day.

But the big one that people say most often and feel strongest about is:

  • The people at home know me. I can be myself. They love me unconditionally.

This answer always troubles me. Aren’t the people who accept us owed more than whatever we have leftover at the end of the day? Don’t they deserve better?

Your best effort and the best version of you are not reserved only for the place that pays you for it. The people who love you most, who love you unconditionally, deserve the best from you. 

The best version of you belongs to the people who will love you no matter what. So give your best to the people who love you most, despite when it's a tough day or you're tired after work.

Do it because they accept you for who you are. Don't ask them to put up with you, overlook your attitude, or deal with your reactionary behavior.

We give our best to the people who love us most because that's what unconditional love deserves.

That's what they deserve. That's what we owe.

Answer the call. Do the work.

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