How I overcame desire for approval

A few weeks ago, I was coaching a massively successful business owner. Despite significant external success, he still experienced troubling internal tension — specifically, a desire for people to like and approve of him.

"How do I stop chasing other people's approval?" he finally asked. "It's affecting my life maybe more than I realize." Rather than tell him what he should do, I told him the three things I remind myself:

1. I approve of myself, so I don't need someone else's approval. That's my job, not theirs. I have no desire for people to provide me with what I am responsible for providing myself. 
2. I remember I've lived my entire life without their approval, so if I don't get it now, I'll continue to be just fine.
3. Finally (and I love this one!), I ask myself, "What would I do with their approval if I got it?" Desire tells us to want things but rarely thinks beyond the pursuit. I don’t want to chase rainbows with no pot of gold at the end, like other people's approval.

Try these three reminders next you feel the pull of desire for approval and see if they can work for you, too.

The time is now. Do the work.