I have plenty of time but refuse to use it on drama. I will not engage. I will not contribute. If I'm in a position of credibility, I look to do two things:
- De-escalate the situation rather than feed any more emotional flames.
- Identify the necessary conversation and what needs to happen to reestablish connection and social stability.
Long ago, I set a personal standard to remove anyone from my social circles who creates drama, whether they do it purposely or unconsciously. It doesn't matter who they are or what kind of relationship we have. Initially, I limit my interactions with them. If patterns don't improve, I cut them off entirely.
It's sad, but it's better than the alternative. People make their choices. I make mine. It's that simple. I'm that serious — zero tolerance. Better to process the pain of sadness and improve my quality of life than endure the pain of drama and lower my quality of life.
Helping friends and family work through challenges is part of what it means to be there for the people we care about. But there's a difference between working through challenges together and creating drama.
Working through challenges together is:
- Thinking in each other's best interest
- Assuming positive intent in each other
- Working hard to care for and understand each other's different perspectives and priorities
- Improving on the issues, not adding to them
Creating drama is:
- Thinking and feeling selfishly
- Assuming you know everyone else's true intentions
- Using reactionary interpretations and emotions to guide interactions
- Adding to the issues, not improving them
We have enough time but limited time, and our relationships and emotions play meaningful roles in what we make of our time. With so many priorities, avoid drama-causing individuals, no matter who they are or what relationship you've had in the past.
Strong, healthy relationships demand discipline from everyone involved. You can't control other people. Sometimes the most disciplined thing you can do for yourself and the other person is to limit or remove interaction.
The time is now. Do the work.
Share your thoughts