Wow. Yesterday’s message of Stop Being Your Worst Critic hit a nerve in the best way possible. I received so many replies saying, “I needed to hear this!” I also received plenty of requests to share more insights on this topic.
The biggest sticking point for people is usually the conflict they feel trying to support themselves while also trying to see themselves clearly. Self-criticism becomes an acceptable method of taking personal responsibility.
That’s where the struggle lives —between believing in yourself and being honest with yourself.
Ask yourself, are those two things in conflict? No, they’re not. Do they need to be? No, they don’t.
The easiest, and I think best, way to stop being your worst critic and start becoming your biggest supporter is like this . . .
Be as accurate as possible and be as kind as possible at the same time.
I mentioned that briefly at the end of yesterday’s note because it not only applies to the judgment and criticism you put onto yourself, but also that you put onto anyone else.
Your desire to be accurate must never come at the expense of your kindness. Your desire to be kind must never come at the expense of your accuracy.
Pair the clarity of your observations, evaluations, and assessments with optimism, support, and encouragement. This will keep you energetic, hopeful, and enthusiastic.
Pair your messages of optimism, support, and encouragement with clear observations, evaluations, and assessments. This will keep you focused, humble, and practical.
Clarity without kindness is cruelty. So is kindness without clarity, just in a different way.
It’s not your job to be your judge. It’s your job to keep getting better and help the people around you get better too. Clarity and kindness are the key to both.
Everything is training for something. Do the work.
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