Watch the Intention-Experience Gap

When you speak to someone, you speak with an intention. You say what you say, the way you say it, for reasons you decide.

But when people listen to you, they don’t know your intention. That just receive the experience from you. They may guess at your intentions or make assumptions, but they don’t know.

What people experience from you is the reality they operate from. Not your intentions. Not what you actually say or mean. They only get the experience on the receiving end.

We judge ourselves by our intentions. Other people judge us by their experience.
If someone’s experience with you differs from your intention, they will not ignore their experience and align with your intention. They will align with their experience despite your intentions

To be a skilled communicator, you must:

1. Be aware of the gap that can form between intentions and experiences.
2. Be interested in closing that gap.
3. Be disciplined about your intentions and how you display them.
4. Be disciplined about observing the experience people receive from.

As with all things, great communication is simple mechanics executed with great discipline.

Event + Response = Outcome. Do the work.